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The Sad Tale Of Swoops Head Crest
Iacon Plain The bright, golden light of Prima Facie and Altera lend this huge section of unbroken surface a soft glow, even through the thick layer of ground metal dust and debris that covers it. The flat metallic plain continues as far as the optic can see, to the bright new Autobot city on the horizon. Iahex rises like a Phoenix from the ashes of Iacon, the original city that was lost when attacked by the Decepticon cityformer, Trypticon. THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! In the sky over the Iacon plains come a scary sight if you are a little girl - it is a Blueshift! The winged fighter swoops closer to the ground, and you may be able to see a purple and green construction vehicle attached to his fusillage. "NOW BONECRUSHER! Use your aerial assault skills to RAIZE THE RUINS OF IAHEX TO THE GROUND!" Blueshift then ejects his grappling hooks on Bonecrusher letting gravity take its toll, and soars higher. "Come out come out Autobots!" Combat: Blue Spaceship sets his defense level to Protected. Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Bonecrusher, crush their bones" Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Their ROBOT BONES" Bonecrusher uses his aerial assault skills to tumble out of the sky completely uncontrolled, like a giant steel brick, and land in a half-repaired building with a loud crashing sound and a rolling cloud of dust. "RIGHT OKAY" shouts Bonecrusher, spinning his treads to try to tip upright. "HERE WE GO" Bonecrusher says, "If they've got any, I'll crush 'em good!" Bonecrusher lands on his treads with a clang and rolls out of the cloud, launching grenades in all directions from the belt-fed grenade launchers mounted on his armored hull. Coming back in from a rather boring patrol around the area, Moonracer hears the sounds of a jet roaring into the area and frowns. Speeding into the area, she spies Bonecrusher crashing to the ground, and Blueshift streaking across the sky. Oh, wonderful....Transforming quickly, the femme sharpshooter moves quickly to the nearest cover and begins to sneak in closer while she calls out over the radio for reinforcements and hopes that Blueshift hasn't spotted her yet. Luckily, she's still out of range of the explosions from Bonecrusher's grenades. Shifting and unfolding, the Cybertronian Car becomes Moonracer! Combat: Moonracer slips into the shadows and out of sight... Today is a good day! Everything was going just the way Swoop wanted it. Just him and a crate of energon he uh 'found'. "Oh boy!" Swoop says to himself as he leans back against one of the ruin walls. "Me hope no Decepty-cons come and ruin everything!" He leans over and hefts the crate up to his face. Very slowly, almost deliberately so, he brings it to his lips so he can taste it's sweet stole-BORROWED buzz. And then Bonecrusher starts smashing the place apart. The walls around Swoop crumble from the explosions and within seconds he is buried underneath the rubble. A few moments pass and everyone's favorite Dinobot (not Sludge) emerges from the wreckage. "NO! THIS EXACTLY WHAT ME SWOOP /NOT/ WANT." Blueshift roars lower over the rubble on the ground, sensors scanning around for Autobots. He easily picks up the noisy swoop, a second sub-sensor picking up the delicious energon crate. "Hah! Only one Autobot! And a stupid one, we will easily outwit him!" he emits to Bonecrusher, flying in lower to blast lasers at Swoop. "Stupid Dino-robot! Stupid!" Combat: Blue Spaceship misses Swoop with his Disruptor attack! "Let's see him outsmart bullet!" declares Bonecrusher, backing over a turbofox, even though that's not really what Blueshift was saying at all. *foomp foomp* Bonecrusher collapses to the ground, rearranging and expanding to become a huge bulldozer. Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer misses Swoop with his Concussion Bomb Launcher attack! -3 Watching the carnage unfold, Moonracer frowned and pulled her rifle from subspace. Swoop would probably go after Blueshift, simple-minded Dinobot that he was, which unfortunately left her with the much more formidable Bonecrusher. Oh well, at least he was an easy target to hit, so she wouldn't have to waste too much time aiming. As she crept into range, being watchful for any grenades or stray fire coming her way, she went down on one knee and lifted her rifle, taking aim. After a moment, she smirked and squeezed the trigger, letting an explosive blast of laser fire fly at the heavily armored target. And like a true sniper, the femme is up and moving quickly, to relocate to another position. Combat: Moonracer appears from the shadows... Combat: Sneak Attack!! Combat: Moonracer misses Komatsu D575A Superdozer with her Sniped! attack! -2 Swoop pushes the pile of rubble apart so he can free himself and stand ontop of it like a beacon of justice or something. He crosses his arms and sends a cold glare at Blueshift although he's probably too far away to see it. "Me see you up there," Swoop mumbles to himself as lasers whiz right past him. "Stupid...stupid stupid-head Decepty-con!" With that scathing insult as his battlecry, Swoop transforms and takes to the air just seconds before Bonecrusher's shot demolishes the previously demolished pile of crap Swoop was just standing on. Also, yeah, Moonracer's hunch was right. Swoop does totally ignore the massive Bonecrusher and instead fires some mouth lasers at the speedy blue spaceship. Swoop turns into a flying dinosaur! Combat: Robot Pteranodon misses Blue Spaceship with his MOUTH LAYZOR (Laser) attack! "Pah what a lazy laser!" Blueshift mocks Swoop, the blue spaceship dipping to one side to avoid the mouth laser, and then heading towards Swoop. "Decepticons don't fire lasers from mouths, we have guns and stuff! You are so disgusting!" He attempts a mid-air collission with the bird, to try to wing him! Combat: Blue Spaceship sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Blue Spaceship strikes Robot Pteranodon with his Full-Body Strike attack! -3 Komatsu D575A Superdozer rumbles to a halt, given pause by a powerful laser shot that spears right through his cabin and does no damage at all. Nothing whatsoever. His cabin, after all, is basically a glass box with a steel frame. You could shine a light straight through it. Moonracer's gun does essentially this, blasting a hole through the next non-transparent thing it hits, which happens to be a building on Bonecrusher's other side. "Huh," remarks Bonecrusher, ponderously rotating to rumble towards where the shot came from. *foomp foomp* go his grenade launchers, bombarding the area where he thinks Moonracer might be with concussion bombs. Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer strikes Moonracer with his Concussion Bomb Launcher attack! -2 Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Bonecrusher, see if you can clear some rubble to create some giant letters" Bonecrusher says, "Whatcha want it t'say?" Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Something /offensive/" Bonecrusher says, "Awright, no problemo." Slag it all! Missed. A little impatient on the trigger, thought Moonracer as she raced towards the next building, only to get blown straight out into the open by the concussion bomb that demolishes the building she's running towards. The concussive force not only tosses the small femme a good distance, it dents her frame and causes a cry of shock, surprise, and mild pain to escape from her. Scrambling back to her feet as quick as she can, she turns her rifle back on Bonecrusher and fires off a lower powered shot quickly as she again turns to run for some kind of cover. Combat: Moonracer misses Komatsu D575A Superdozer with her Laser attack! "Guns is for losers! Also, you smell bad! And uhhh... ME HATE YOU!" are the hateful words that come out of Swoop's mouth before Blueshift collides with him and sends him careening back towards the ground so fast that even gravity would say 'daaaaaaayum!'. The Dinobot hits the ground like an anvil and skids across the dirt, stopping only after a half-fallen wall gets in the way. Not one to just die after a hit like that, Swoop gets back up. "Ha! Puny Decepty-cons can never crush me Swoop! Me am DINOBOT! We is better than regular Autobots!" He stretches out his battered and dented wings and takes to the sky once more to (literally) butt heads with Blueshift. Combat: Robot Pteranodon sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Robot Pteranodon misses Blue Spaceship with his KAPOW (Ram) attack! ptwing! kwang! Laser shots ricochet off of Bonecrusher's huge gleaming silver blade as he guns his diesel engine and rumbles after Moonracer. "Here we go, here we go, here we go," Bonecrusher chants to himself enthusiastically. He lowers the blade and gears down, starting to push the rubble before him like a wave as he carves complex shapes into the ground. They look like... letters? Bonecrusher seems to be writing something in the process of tilling under and shattering the wreckage, as well as anything else that gets under his blade. Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer misses Moonracer with his Killdozer attack! Blueshift falters slightly, his engines cutting out in shock as Swoop mocks him with his words of hate. "I... I... I..." he begins, unable to reply to the hurtful words Swoop utters. After this fight, Blueshift will book himself into months of intensive therapy, and listen to lots of Linclon Park songs. For now though, he just wants revenge! "Now I will cut off your head!" he cries in return, arcing towards Swoop, his sharp wings flashing in the skies like a knife! Combat: Blue Spaceship sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Blue Spaceship strikes Robot Pteranodon with his Wing Slice attack! Easily avoiding that huge blade by /climbing/ it, Moonracer vaults over the top of the massive thing and aims a quick kick at something that resembles controls as she swings into, and through, the cabin. "How can someone so /huge/ dodge /my/ shots?!" Combat: Moonracer sets her defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Moonracer strikes Komatsu D575A Superdozer with her Kick attack! Komatsu D575A Superdozer doesn't even notice the kick. It feels about the same as a rock popping up and landing in the cabin, which happens from time to time while he's working. He does notice Moonracer climbing on him, however, and shouts at her to get down. "Get offa there, that is NOT A STEP, cancha read the warning label?" Once he's completed the cut, Bonecrusher transforms to regard his handiwork. The wreckage has been cut and smoothed, Bonecrusher's path forming crudely formed letters that could be seen from space by sharp enough eyes. All together, they read: AUTOBOTS TORQUE THEY OWN NUTS The bulldozer noisily and awkwardly pulls itself up into a dense, compactly built green robot about twenty feet tall. The last word is a bit out of place thanks to Moonracer messing with the controls, and this annoys Bonecrusher, who is now standing beside Moonracer instead of under her. "Lookit that, you made me go off atta angle, ya dumb broad!" he yells, swinging the back of his hand at her face. Combat: Bonecrusher misses Moonracer with his Ringing Backhand (Punch) attack! Robot Pteranodon waits for that spine jarring CRASH that is him colliding with Blueshift but it never happens. Swoop takes a quick look around only to realize that, yes, he has in fact completely missed his target. "This suck," Swoop mumbles before he turns around just in time to get wing sliced by the knife/spaceship chimera rushing towards him. Luckily for Swoop, he ducks his head just in time to avoid getting decapitated BUT AT WHAT COST!? Swoop is shocked into silence as he watches his severed crest fall down, down, down towards the ruins. "...No..." His voice is cracking and soft. "Noo..." He lifts his head and stares at Blueshift, a fire burning in his stare. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Swoop transforms into his super awesome robot mode and pulls out his sword, darting at the Decepticon and swinging the blade with a ferocity never seen before. With an avian roar, Swoop unfolds into his robot mode. Combat: Swoop strikes Blue Spaceship with his SOME THINGS ARE WORTH DYING FOR attack! Combat: You took 11 damage. Combat: Your attack continues to damage Swoop Bonecrusher says, "Heh heh, I said they torqued they own nuts." Bonecrusher says, "Cuz they got incompetent engineers, see, non-union, so they can't get they nuts torqued properly by someone what knows how t'torque 'em." Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Hahaha" Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "But I said make it INSULTING" Bonecrusher says, "Well, it's insultin' to they engineers, see!" Blueshift unfolds into his robot mode, starting down at the ground, mouth wide open. "Whoa!" he exclaims. "I think I cut off his WANG!" As Blueshift hovers there in shock, he gets totally slashed by Swoop. His head snaps up in anger, and his own blade drawn, he lunges for the Autobot. The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift Combat: Blueshift sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Blueshift strikes Swoop with his Vorpal Saber attack! -2 Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Did you see that Bonecrusher? HIS WANG" Ducking under that massive fist, the smaller femme laughs as she backs away quickly, transforming and zooming away a fair distance before fishtailing around to face Bonecrusher. A small panel opens on her hood, to reveal what appears to be a gun barrel of some kind, which suddenly shoots out a burst of electricity, which looks strangely like lightning, at the Decepticon while Swoop works on devastating Blueshift. <> Crouching, Moonracer shifts into a Cybertronian Car! Combat: Cybertronian Car strikes Bonecrusher with her Electro-Cannon attack! Bonecrusher says, "I always wondered what that thing was." "Hurgh!" grunts Bonecrusher, falling to one knee as electricity runs over and through him! "I ain't gotta take that from the likes'a you!" He breaks into a heavy run, plugging away at Moonracer with his laser as he chases after her. Swoop's eyes light up when his blade cuts deep into Blueshift but even that isn't enough to ebb the pain of losing his beloved crest. In fact, his pain only intensifies thanks to Blueshift stabbing him with some crazy vampire sword. The Dinobot lets out a frustrated grunt and raises his left fist. "You think you so tough but me Swoop... ME SWOOP IS TOUGHER!" He throws the punch! Combat: Swoop strikes Blueshift with his Fappo! (Punch) attack! Combat: You took 9 damage. Combat: Your attack continues to damage Swoop "Hurgh!" grunts Bonecrusher, falling to one knee as electricity runs over and through him! "I ain't gotta take that from the likes'a you!" He breaks into a heavy run, plugging away at Moonracer with his laser as he chases after her. Combat: Bonecrusher misses Cybertronian Car with his Standard-Issue Constructicon Laser Pistol (Laser) attack! Blueshift is totally fappo'd by Swoop. He staggers back, growling as cracks appear on his cockpit. "Curse you Autobot! ME BLUESHIFT TOU - Uh, I mean I AM TOUGHER!" He lunges forward again with his terrible terrible space vampire sword D: Combat: Blueshift strikes Swoop with his Vorpal Saber attack! Spinning around and racing away from Bonecrusher, Moonracer's laughter comes floating back to the Decepticon like bells jingling in the wind. Turning a tight circle, the femme suddenly lines back up on the Constructicon and opens fire with a disruptor that rolled into place where her electro-cannon was just a moment ago. < strikes Bonecrusher with her *PEWPEW* Call ME a broad will ya?! (Disruptor) attack! Swoop grimaces as the vampire blade forcefully penetrates him against his will once more. He's been stabbed lots of times but for some reason this is different. He feels weaker. Sluggish. Almost as if his energy is being zapped from his very body. That's crazy thinking, though. Swords can't do that! Right? "Your sword is stupid! You is stupid!" Swoop points down at Boncrusher. "Him is stupid! You is ALL stupid!" The Dinobot throws his head foreward in an effort to head butt the crap out of Blueshift. Combat: Swoop misses Blueshift with his Head BUTT lol butts attack! Combat: You notice your attack on Swoop wearing off. "Gnrrrgh," Bonecrusher snarls through his teeth, little energy bolts zapping his broad chest. "Gonna CRUSH you into SCRAP! Ya scrapmouth!" His feet pound over and through the rubble after Moonracer, carrying him up a short slope of wreckage. As he topples off the high end, he transforms and slams into the ground, engine roaring as he takes off with a heaving clatter to try to run that little car down and mash it under his blade! Bonecrusher collapses to the ground, rearranging and expanding to become a huge bulldozer. Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer misses Cybertronian Car with his Recycling Initiative attack! Blueshift ducks backwards as Swoop tries to headbutt him. "No my sword is actually more intelligent than me, it is proven by science! It has an IQ of 9!" He continues moving backwards, flipping into his alt mode as he does so, and then sets his afterburners to life, roaring after Swoop in a firey blue flash of death! Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft Combat: Blue Spaceship strikes Swoop with his Full-Body Strike attack! Cybertronian Car 's jingling laughter again rings out over the sounds of the fighting. Apparently, she's having a good time. Transforming suddenly, still on the move and not slowing any, it's a good thing that the femme can move almost as fast as a robot as she can as a car! "You're too slow to hit me!" Stopping suddenly, the sharpshooter pulls her rifle once more from subspace and whirls, letting loose with a full-powered explosive blast that will hopefully hit somewhere that /isn't/ that huge blade on the front of the superdozer. Shifting and unfolding, the Cybertronian Car becomes Moonracer! Combat: Moonracer strikes Komatsu D575A Superdozer with her Pulse Laser Grenade Launcher attack! Komatsu D575A Superdozer is awfully slow. :( Swoop looks impressed by the swords intelligence stat. "Really? That not seem fair-" Before Swoop can completely voice his opinion, he's smacked out of the sky! AGAIN! OH WOE, what has Swoop done to deserve this!? 30 MINUTES AGO IN ~THE PAST~ Swoop walks up to an energon vendor and nonchalantly steals a crate of energon. The vendor shouts at him but Swoop just ignores him. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR DOING THAT! SOMEDAY! SOMEHOW! KARMA ALWAYS GETS YOU!" Swoop scoffs, "There no such thing as Car-mah!" NOW Swoop hits the ground with a crash and as he lay there on his back and thinks to himself, 'Maybe karma does exist..' Combat: Swoop takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Komatsu D575A Superdozer grinds through the spot where Moonracer was like thirty seconds ago. He's just so ponderous as a dozer! He has a horrible turning radius when he gets up to speed, too. "I haaaate you!" Bonecrusher howls, grenades exploding against his armor and damaging his engine's cooling system, causing him to start emitting a pale green steam. "I hate you so much! I gotta show you with my fists!" He transforms and charges after Moonracer, aiming to pound her flat... if he can even catch up to her. The bulldozer noisily and awkwardly pulls itself up into a dense, compactly built green robot about twenty feet tall. Combat: Bonecrusher strikes Moonracer with his Power of Hatred attack! As Swoop falls, Blueshift transforms mid-air, hovering over the Dinobot to draw his dreaded speed gun, aiming and shooting at Swoop's prone form. "Soon I will rebuild Iahex into BLUEAHEX, and then you will see my true glory!" Combat: Removed restrictions on CRIPPLE for your attacks. The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift Combat: Blueshift misses Swoop with his Speed Stealing Gun attack! Yeouch! As that huge fist travels at Moonracer, she tries to turn and run, but she turns the wrong way, and ends up flying through the air once again, sporting a /huge/ dent in her side now. "GAH! OWW!" The femme sharpshooter knows that she's nowhere near a match for Bonecrusher in a fist-fight, so she pushes herself to her feet with a bit of effort and takes off running, firing laser blasts over her shoulder. "That's what I get for picking on the big guys." she mutters to herself as she runs. Combat: Moonracer strikes Bonecrusher with her AHH!!GETITOFF! (Laser) attack! Swoop stares at the sky through blurry eyes. His head is pounding and every part of his body aches. Deep down in his gut, the pain of losing his crest is still as powerful as ever. For a split second he thinks about just laying there and hoping everything will blow over. Swoop bolts up into a sitting position. "NO!" he shouts to no one in particular. "NO! NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!" Even with Blueshift hovering over him with a drawn gun isn't enough to deter the Dinobot. With new found strength, he pushes himself up onto unsteady feet and glowers at the Decepticon. For what seems like an eternity, Swoop stares him down. "Blueahex..." he coughs out. "IS THE DUMBEST THING ME SWOOP EVER HEARD!" ~FWOOOOOOSH!~ Swoop fires a missile from under his folded wing. Combat: Swoop strikes Blueshift with his KABLAAAM! KABOOOM!! WOOOSH! attack! -1 Combat: You took 11 damage. Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Bonecrusher, have you crushed that femme yet?" Bonecrusher picks up a piece of concrete-reinforcement beam off of the ground and chases after Moonracer with it, lasers splashing little holes in his armor as he comes after her with the I-beam raised like a baseball bat. "Stop runnin'! I ain't gonna hurt ya, babycakes! I'm just gonna bust ya head open!" Combat: Bonecrusher strikes Moonracer with his Domestic Dispute In Progress (Kick) attack! Bonecrusher says, "I crushed a few but I think she still got some bones left in'er!" As if in some slow motion film, Blueshift is hit by Swoop's missile, tumbling head-over heels as he crashes into the ground, smoking. He then puts down his cigar (ah-ha!) and scrambles to his feet, attempting to gain the upper hand again. "Oh yeah?" he hisses, his black sword in his hand once more. "I think my friend wants a word with you. And my friend's name is MR SWORDY!" Combat: Blueshift strikes Swoop with his Vorpal Saber attack! -2 Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Most bones are in the feet, Bonecrusher" Bonecrusher says, "Her feet are real small, I ain't so sure that applies here." Space Attack XO Blueshift says, "Her hands then!" Bonecrusher says, "I like that idea!" In a (not so) surprising turn of events, Swoop is stabbed. AGAIN! Quite frankly, he's getting quite tired of this but such is life. "That even stupider name than Blueahex!" Swoop says with a disgusted look on his face. Oil and/or energon, whatever makes more sense, leaks from his multiple stab wounds like a urine from a ruptured bladder. Or maybe blood from a severed artery. No, the urine comparison makes more sense. "You suck at names!" Swoop exclaims, swinging his sword horizontally at Blueshift's side. Combat: Swoop misses Blueshift with his SAWING attack! Still running, Moonracer was just getting ready to stop and dive for cover when something very large, very heavy, and /very/ painful slammed into her from behind! Her optics go dead for a second as she hits the ground with a cry of pain after the beam hits her in the back, but they flicker back on a moment later as she rolls over and sees Bonecrusher running towards her. Frantically shoving herself to her feet, she transforms races off, her tires spinning quickly and kicking up some of the dust and debris at the Constructicon. Crouching, Moonracer shifts into a Cybertronian Car! Combat: Cybertronian Car sets her defense level to Neutral. Combat: Cybertronian Car strikes Bonecrusher with her Makeshift sandblaster! (Disruptor) attack! Blueshift pulls a face as it looks like Swoop is weeing himself from his body. "Ugh that is disgusting, you are disgusting!" he hisses, recoiling in horror slightly. "I thought you turned into a bird anyway, why don't you fly away and tell Rodimus Prime how BADASS Blueshift and his best friend Bonecrusher is, and he can join my team if he wants to!" Blueshift raises his Speed Gun again, shooting off another round at Swoop. "Or you Autobots can just be SLAVES in BLUEAHEX!" Combat: Blueshift strikes Swoop with his Speed Stealing Gun attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Swoop's Agility. (Crippled) Combat: Mmmmmm! You gain 10 energon from your Feed attack. "Gonna break yer puny li'l hands, twist 'em up like paperclips so ya can't pull that trigger at me no more!" Bonecrusher bellows from within the cloud of dust and debris Moonracer's kicking up. He activates his antigravity system and swings through the air as if he was a bucket on the end of a rope, switching it off at the last moment to try to land on the car with both feet. "Ya ain't got Bonecrusher fooled!" Combat: Bonecrusher strikes Cybertronian Car with his Deep Impact attack! -1 Moonracer speaks rather weakly. "That hurt. I gotta get clear of this, Bonecrusher is killing me." "ME SWOOP NOT TURN INTO BIRD!" Swoop yells, frustrated at having to explain this to someone for the six thousandth time. "ME IS TERRY-DACTYL! TERRY-DAC-" Swoop is shot mid sentence with another one of Blueshift's crazy-ass weapons. A gun that steals speed? MADNESS! "Me hate you!" Swoop says while throwing a fatigued punch. Combat: Swoop strikes Blueshift with his Lazy punch (Punch) attack! Combat: You took 8 damage. Combat: Swoop's attack has damaged your Firepower! *Crunch* Moonracer lets out a strangled cry of pain as her body is /mangled/ by Bonecrusher jumping on her. Somehow managing to extract herself from beneath those huge feet, the Cybertronian car does everything possible to race off away from the fight. <> Combat: Cybertronian Car begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. "Nnnn" Blueshift takes a step back as Swoop's punch strikes him. "I don't know what that is, isn't he a radio DJ?" In the same motion as he steps back, Blueshift draws his second sword, smoothly pushing forward again to strike the blade directly at Swoop's face. "Really, Dinosaurs, DJs, they're both extinct!" Combat: Blueshift strikes Swoop with his Piercing Strike attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Swoop's Accuracy. (Blinded) Swoop gets a sword to the face. Yeah, it sucks. "AAAAAARRGHHHHHHHHAAAAAGHGHHHHEHEEEEHHAAAAAGH!" Swoop yells as the blade is pushed deep into the side of his face, slicing a penetrating his optic. He brings up both hands and wraps them around the weapon, pulling it out from it's lodged position in a single, pain-inducing motion. Swoop shakes his head from side to side, spraying droplets of energon all over the place. "THAT IT! THIS TOO MUCH! This crappy place not worth it!" And just like that, Swoop transforms and takes to the sky. If anyone back at base gives him a hard time about running away, he'll just crush their spine into an accordion. Swoop turns into a flying dinosaur! Combat: Robot Pteranodon begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. Bonecrusher tumbles off of Moonracer when she takes off with a squeal of tires, sitting down hard with a grunt. "You come back here an' take your medicine, ya crazy broad!" Bonecrusher shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth. Slowly he straightens himself up and looks around. Well, he DID flatten everything he rolled over, and that's pretty good. But that Dinobot is still fighting Blueshift. Bonecrusher rolls up his figurative sleeves, pulls out his laser and trudges towards the other fighters, firing the laser steadily. Blueshift snaps his fingers and gives a thumbs up to Bonecrusher. "Hey Bonecrusher, check this out!" And he has Swoop's crest in his hands and is running about with it making funny noises :( As Swoop flies away from the scene, he's suddenly overcome with seemingly irrational anger. In an effort to calm himself, he shoots a missile at a building as he passes. The building falls to the ground, shearing Blueshift in half :( Now Bonecrusher must quickly stitch Blueshift back together, or both halves will grow into individual Blueshifts :( Bonecrusher points and laughs at Blueshift wiggling on the ground in two pieces with Swoop's crest on. "Haw haw, yer half the mech you usta be!" Bonecrusher picks up the Blueshift halves and jams them together so they don't do any horrible budding or whatever while he finishes flattening the stuff around here that he didn't get a chance to flatten during the fight. LATER, in a REPORT: Bonecrusher, with lots of little burns and pinholes all over, is standing in front of Iahex's ruined defenses. Really ruined, as in flattened out and smoothed into the surrounding rubble-strewn wasteland. He's recording himself on his own wrist communicator, which makes the recording rather low quality and a bit shakey. : "Yo. It's Bonecrusher. So Blueshift sez we're gonna go finish the job what Boss Galvatron started last week on Iahex. Blueshift gave me a ride in an' we took on the Bot defenders head on. They didn't have too many, place was pretty wrecked already. They's probably spread out all over the planet, I'm thinkin'." Bonecrusher stops talking and just stands there for about twelve seconds, then starts up again when he seems to remember something. No wonder it takes so long for Devastator to say anything. : "Oh. Right, so, we won, you probably guessed that cuz of here we are. Autobots were that flyin' Dinobot and the broad what shoots ya outta nowhere while ya ain't doin' nothing. I gave'er the back'a my hand. Also busted her head clean open with a piece'a I-beam. That sent'er packin'. Blueshift beat the Dinobot in an airborne swordfight, so I guess you might wanna give him a medal or sumpin? We get medals for that, right? Or maybe change the name'a the place, though there ain't much left. Blueshift was sayin' he liked 'Blueahex.'" Blueshift runs into the frame, giving a triumphant thumbs-up and holding himself together at the waist with his other hand. Bonecrusher pans the wrist recorder over to him. It becomes apparent that the rubble is actually carved into shapes; Bonecrusher has cut and smoothed words into the wrecked landscape. They read: AUTOBOTS TORQUE THEY OWN NUTS. The last part is a little sloppier, and offset, as if he had been distracted while making it. : "So, uh. I guess that's it then. We took the Iahex territory. Now we gotta get the Bots off the rest'a the planet, they're dug in like turboticks. Bonecrusher out."